Interesting weekend

This weekend has been quite an interesting one for me.

I had a life reading over the phone.  Had some ideas confirmed, had some new ones tossed about, had others that were similar uttered, but that had their differences.

Not sure what to make of it all... But I was told this... My life is about balance, between logic and intuition... I can see this.

If I remember correctly one of the times that I had Luinbariel do a tarot card pull for me, it was all about balance, about finding what was going to work for me, when it came down to logic, and intuition, thinking and feeling.

The other interesting thing that came from that was the idea that my soul group, which is 3 others besides myself, were supposedly monks in a previous life.  Food for thought.

I also did a tarot thread for /x/ tonight, my first one.  Seemed to go really well, and was a fun time... I must remember to try this again.

Tarot, Thoughts.

Three of pentacles , Present

Page of wands, reversed, Future.

Got that pull for the question "What is coming"

The card for the present is one that shows the three of pentacles with the master artisan putting finishing touches to a church mural or whatever.  Its a card of completion, dealing with money and such.

The next card page of wands when it is reversed is generally negative, but doesn't seem to be very specific about what its portraying... Unless Luin has a better idea.  I just feel too lazy to put the pictures in.

If I had to guess the first card seems to be dealing with success in money matters, maybe dealing with the job that I applied for and had one interview so far for?  I haven't heard back from him yet.

The second???  I'm not sure...

I also cant help but feel that Ive been a butt lately.  Towards Luinbariel in particular... Ive been so caught up in my own crap that Ive been bugging her about my problems way too much... I dunno... Just kinda came to my attention that *surprise* she might have her own issues to deal with and me talking about mine all the time is kinda a dick thing to do.

I guess I'm trying to say that I'm sorry... I appreciate all of the time that you do spend with me... I've just been way too needy lately and haven't been very understanding...

Tarot Pull, along with more thoughts.

First off, my general card for the week is the hanged man.

If I remember correctly this is a card depicting the metaphysical over the physical.  Or maybe it is supposed to be the control over such.

According to the book I have... "In spiritual matters, wisdom, prophetic power.  A pause in one's life, suspended decisions.  Self-surrender leads to the transformation of the personality.  Material temptation is conquered."

To me that isn't what my thoughts where when I saw the card.

On to my thoughts... I feel slightly passed over by a group of friends that may or may not read this... I'm not sure what to make of it though.  A part of me thought I was over being accepted by them, but another part of me wonders why I was so obviously overlooked.  Though I have thought that one of them doesn't really care for me much.  I shouldn't be that surprised.

Ah well.  I seem to care too much 90% of the time.

Different Pull...

I decided to do a different sort of Pull tonight.  3 cards, the first being a general for the week, the second being "The Gate" Or an event that is going to have to happen during the week, and the final being "The outcome" or the result of that event.

My first card was: The Page of Swords; Reversed.

That card in that configuration means "Impostor, likely to be exposed. Frivolity and cunning. Possibility of ill health.  Be prepared for the unexpected."

My next card was: The High Priestess; Reversed

This card means "Conceit, sensual enjoyment. Accepting surface knowledge."

Which leads me to my final card: The Five of Swords; Upright

Which means "Failure, defeat. Degradation.  Conquest of others. Unfairness, slander, cruelty, cowardliness."  At least according to the book.  My first thoughts upon seeing this card was that of others turning their back upon someone, leaving them to do the hard work that could be done easier with their help.

I'm not completely sold on the meaning of the 3rd card, as it is somewhat dependent upon the one before it.  Which I am not sure is the correct way to read it either...

Tarot Pull

General for the rest of my week.  This card, upright means "Triumph, success, control over the forces of nature---thus triumph over ill health as well as money difficulties or enemies of any sort, including one's own lower animal passions.  This is a card of those who achieve greatness.  it may also indicate travel in comfort.  Mental and physical powers should lead to fulfillment."

Seems like quite a positive card.  Not sure what it really means for my week though.

Tarot Pull

I got the seven of cups.  The book says.  "Dreams, castles in the air, an imagination that has been working overtime.  The seeker's forces have been too scattered. Illusionary success. Selfish dissipation; deception."

Luin said that to her it represents nostalgia, I could see how that would work... but to me, Its like looking at possibilities, at everything that needs to be done, should be done, and getting no where, seeing the pitfalls, the gains, the losses... and being stuck in a rut.

*shrugs*

Tarot Time.

Yea, I could have put this in the same post... *shrugs*

The two of swords, upright is my card for my week.

"Tension in relationships.  Indecision. Balanced forces. Military friendships.  A well-developed sense of balance and rhythm but needing direction. Stalemate."

I can see how this meaning "tension in relationships" could be quite true.  Considering all I have been going though at work and such as of late. It seems quite apt actually.

Hopefully this isn't a implication of things to come.

Tarot Time!

General pull for the week yielded me the moon, upright.  It means, according to the book.  "Intuition, Imagination, deception.  Unfoldment of latent psychic powers. Unforseen perils, secret foes.  Bad luck for one you love."

Nothing for nothing?  I had the feeling in my gut as soon as I touched my cards tonight.  One that I have started to akin to change, or being uneasy.  I'm not sure what its about.  But this card furthers Luin's reading from last week, with her Oracle deck, about not dismissing feelings... It seems to be following that same path. 

I also find it amusing to see a dog, and a wolf, being led by the light of the moon, though humanity and beyond.  Wolf, natures creation, dog, domesticated by man. Etc Etc.

Tarot time?!? I think it is. Yes.

Ive been neglecting doing a tarot reading for myself for a while.

So.  I did one, just now.  General reading for the week

My card?

This card, upright, means "Force of character, spiritual power overcoming material power, love triumphing over hate, the higher nature over carnal desires."

That is what the book I have says. As to how it relates to my week? I would say that I need to focus on those qualities to get though it.  Meaning overall that my week itself seems like it is not going to be the best week ever.  Ah well.

Tarot

Problem	Solution

So, The Sun, again, as my problem.
Book meaning? "Material happiness, success, attainment. A good marriage.  Happy reunions. Achievements in the arts, science, and agriculture. Studies completed; liberation. Pleasure in the simple life"

My Solution? The Hierophant.

Book meaning? "Preference for the outer forms of religion, the ritual, the creed, the ceremony.  The importance of social approval; the need to conform to society."

[22:02:42] <@Luinbariel> I think the Heirophant is a teacher, one whom you draw a lot of knowledge from in many ways including spiritual knowledge. The act of being under such a person's wing, that kind of thing.

Is what Luin had said.  Which would make more sense in this spread.  Basically what is being said is that I'm enjoying the material, but I should be more focused on the immaterial, on those things that cannot be counted, and focused upon.  It makes sense, and slightly confirms a few thoughts I've had.  "I should be meditating more" and all of that.

I guess the sun could also be seen as a card that is saying "Look at me, I'm bright enough to shine on my own.  I can do what I want... Hence the sunflowers looking towards the child and not at the sun.

That needs more thought. 

Tarot

Problem	Solution, reveresd

The Ten of pentacles means"riches, inheritances. Attention to family matters, interest in one's ancestral tree. A problem concerning a will or pension. May refer to the acquiring of a house or business property." 

Well considering what I'm dealing with in reality its probably referring to the 'attention to family matters' portion.

The king, reversed means "Stupidity. Perverse use of talents. Thriftless. Easy to bribe. Vice. caution against associationw ith gamblers and speculators. If crossed he could be a dangerous man."

Hmmm... I got nothin' on this one... I need sleep

Been awhile...

Wow... its been a while since I updated this... Lets see, Saturday night I lost power, as did my work, I stayed late there... Sunday I had to be up early to drive though a snowstorm to get back to work, stayed there for 6 hours, and then I was on a mini-vacation from monday though friday... so I have one day off left!

Been busy though...

So, onto tarot, which Ive been negelecting...

Problem - Solution pull as I have been doing.

Problem, reversed	Solution

The card Strength, reversed means "Domination of the material. Discord, lack of moral force, fear of the unknown in ourselves, abuse of power." According to the book. The first thing that came into my head when I looked at this card though was "lack of strength" or basicly Ive been too lax, and too weak, in my own strength of character. Ive been doing what others want and that maybe just maybe Ive been letting them get things their way for too long.

Lets see what the book has to say about the two of pentacles... "Te ability to juggle two situations at one time. Lightheartedness. gaiety. Recreation. Harmony in the midst of change. New projects may be difficult to launch. News and messages in writing. A nature industrious yet unreliable, elated and then melancholic"

Hmm, so the second card is saying to basicly "take it all in stride, juggle your problems, and hope that they will sort them out?"  Maybe I'm reading these incorrectly.  but part of it is just saying "ride the waves" but maybe the first card is just indicating that these problems exist, but that they will somewhat work themselves out without causing too much upheival...

I'm tired. Time for sleep!

Oh, Im behind in my NaNoWriMo... but I'm trying to keep up!

Dream and Tarot Pull

Hmm, I had a dream last night.  I was in my car, selling coffee out of the back seat, I just put into the keg a full pot of pumpkin coffee. My father showed up, asking why I was still in the car, and I told him it was because I was waiting for these people to decide if they wanted to buy coffee or not. They said they didn't, so I left the car, and locked up, and found myself in the store.

Inside there were 2 women, one blond haired, the other, a brunette, and the blond was wandering around.  I was looking around and noticed gum, bought from another store, repriced and put out for 3.29 a package.  The blond woman walked around me, touching things, looking at a roast beef that was left out, on top of a case, running her hand along it, then along my arm, smiling, and wandering away.

She kept coming back around to me, so I finally followed her into the next room, walking up behind her, and grasping her, feeling her curves...  Her friend poked her head around the corner, blushed and walked away... I woke up as I slipped my hands down between her legs...

Yea....

Onto tarot pull!

Tarot Pull + Dream

So, lets start with the pull

Problem	Solution

I kinda wish i was doing this on purpose now...

My problem is the ace of cups, "The beginning of great love. Joy, contentment. Productiveness, fertility. Beauty and pleasure. A reminder that when the mind is filled with Spirit, the Spirit will fill the material cup to overflowing"

My solution is The High Priestess, "Unrevaled future, hidden influences at work. Of special value for artists, poets, composers, mystics.  When this card apperas in a man's reading, it represents the perfect woman all men dream of; in a woman's reading it may indicate that she can find such virtues in herself or in a friend."

The points that stand out to me is the fact that the problem card has connected to it "A reminder that when the mind is filled with spirit..."  Whereas the second card, my solution is the high priestess which is a card that is highly dealing with matters of a spiritual nature.  I think that this pull is telling me that I have been ignoring matters of the spirit, as of late, in order to deal with matters of the physical.

Something to ponder I suppose, now onto something spiritual (in a sense) with a dream from last night.

Tarot Pull

Problem	Solution

The Ten of Cups means "contentment. Lasting happiness because it is inspired from above rather than being the sensual satisfaction indicated in the nine of cups. Perfection of human love. Great friendship. lasting success. Peacemaking."

The empress means "material wealth, marriage, fertility for would-be parents, for farmers, or for people in the creative arts.  If its position is not in the best placement in relation to other cards, it sometimes indicates luxury or dissipation."

I'm not seeing how these two cards are related really.  I can see that the problem is kind of pointing at those qualities taken to extremes, for example the fact I try to keep the peace, and such.  But I'm not sure how to take the empress in this situation.

Tarot Pull

Problem	Solution

So Without going into the long and short of it, the hanged man is saying that my self-surrender is the problem in this case, while the 9 of wands is saying that I need to find the strength to push though to the end...

Some days...

Okay, I'm trying hard not to be a bitch about things, alright.  But venting is needed.

Okay, so I went out last night, okay so it was a group of just male friends, bowling, okay, so I had a few fucking drinks, okay, I had fun, I, yes me, went out with a FRIEND, and had FUN.

Fuck off and have a nice night.

So I came home at 12:30 in the morning, and I'm sorry I woke your ass up, yes, you NEED your sleep, and yes you fucking CAN'T fall asleep like a normal fucking human being, and YES your fucking mind TURNS AND TURNS at night, get a fucking sleeping aide like a normal fucking person.

And beyond that, asking "So, how was the sausage-fest last night" DOES NOT A FUCKING "conversation starter" make, and YOU WONDER WHY I just answered with an "eh, good, how was your day" "Horrible" Oh, thats nice, and you wonder why i'm not having a conversation with you yet?

"You don't seem like yourself today" Well because I woke up to someone being bitchy, cause I didn't answer my phone, and RUN out to get a haircut this morning, and its MY FAULT that he knocked over a box of white cornmeal, and I'm supposed to DROP everything because your hip is hurting, again. Well I'm sorry, I have a PART-TIME job to get to, which I work 5 hours a day...


Just... fuck this day.



FUCK!


Anyways, since I'm here I might as well do a tarot card pull...

Tarot Pull

Problem, reversed	Solution

Hmm

So the Queen of pentacles, reversed means "Mistrust, suspicion, Deties neglected. Dependence on others. Changeable. Fearful of failure"

While the sun means, "material happiness, success, attainment. A good marriage. Happy reunions. Achievements in the arts, science, and agriculture. Studies completeed; liberation. Pleasure in the simple life"

So basicly these cards are saying that my mistrust of others, and my dependance on my family is causing me to be fearful of my own failure.  The sun, in this cause is pretty much saying "Get out, Do, experience..."

A pretty interesting pull, considering I am leaving to go out in about 10 minutes.

Tarot Pull

Problem	Solution

So the chariot, means "triumph, success, control over the forces of nature -- thus triumph over ill health as well as money difficulties or enemies of any sort, including one's own lower animal passions.  This is a card of those who achieve greatness.. It may also indicate travel in comfort. Mental and physical powers should lead to fulfillment."

The moon on the other hand means "intuition, imagination, deception.  Unfoldment of latent psychic powers.  Unforeseen perils, secret foes.  Bad luck for one you love."

Seems like an interesitng pull once again, not exactly happy, but... I dunno...

Something to note, I got a weird feeling as I was shuffling the deck, stopped there, and di the cuts, and this is what I pulled...

Tarot Pull - Problem & solution

Problem	Solution

So our problem today was the 6 of wands.
"Good news.  Victory after strife. Pleasure gained though labor.  Success though industry.  Advancement in the arts and sciences. Friends are helpful."

Our solution, the four of pentacles means "assured material gain, success. Earthly power, but leading to nothing beyond it. Gifts legacy, inheritance. May indicate a miserly, ungenerous character"

 I'm having issues figuring out how these two cards fit, the problem card represents something quite positive, while the solution card seems to reflect something much darker.  Almost as if the solution to the problem of working hard is to... take what I can get and keep it to myself...

Eh... not sure how I feel about this pull to be honest.