Oracle Card: Earth Dragon

I decided to pull a card this morning from my druid oracle deck, with the intention of not reading it reversed, but as an upright card, but was initially pulled reversed, and pulled the Earth Dragon:

Earth Dragon – Power, Potential, Riches

The Earth Dragon (Draig-talamh) brings us face to face with our potential. Wishing us we have a treasure house of riches – of powers and capacities – that we can learn how to use. In the past, we may have been denied access by the guardian of this treasure. But now we are coming to understand that this sometimes fierce guardian is in reality an aspect of ourselves. By coming to know and love Draig-talamh, we will be able to unlock the secrets of our heart, and at the same time we will find ourselves discovering the beauty and the power that lie within the hearts of those around us and in the very earth itself.

This card might also indicate that somehow you are relating in an inappropriate way to your inner reserves and potential. Earth Dragon guard the treasures of your should fiercely, but he is your ally, not your enemy – do not try to kill him and do not try to wrest the treasure away from him. You may need to spend time befriending this creature who has slumbered in your should for so long. A precipitous attempt to capitalize on your talents or express. your potential may be unwise.

Druid Animal Oracle by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm, art by Will Worthington

Source: https://partingthemists.com/2018/04/09/card-of-the-day-earth-dragon/ 

The second paragraph was the 'reverse' meaning according to the book that I have with the cards. Potential is a good word, I think this is an indication of me needing to continue to perform shadow work and understand and let go of the past.

I think that part of me has always been afraid of what I might have, what I could become if I stopped holding myself back. There is a both a positive and a negative aspect to this part of me. I know from my own past mistakes that I am not always the most balanced person and I feel like the other crutches (THC, mostly) that I have gained over the past few years has not been fully positive, but are still worthwhile tools to have in my life.

I want to get more in touch with myself. I need to come to terms with my own past and find it within myself to move forward. To make the choices that need to be made in regards to my mom's ailing mental state. The status quo is not tenable, it cannot hold forever. In fact its more than likely worse than I want to see, but I am just too close to the issue to really know.

I need to befriend my earth dragon, I need to take power back in my life and make the choices, regardless of how hard they might be.

An attempt at journaling, getting back on the path

Its been a long time since I wrote anything on here. Surprised the site still exists.
Its now August 22nd, 2023.

I have been out of the metaphysical space for a while, but have been making a serious attempt at being a better version of myself.

Looking back at some of my posts here, the separation between the me of now and then seems large.

I want to get back into a meditation practice. I want to get my life back. I feel present, for the first time in a while, at least since I got my new job (April 19th, 2015).

Between now and then? My father died. (February 17, 2017), my mom has Alzheimer's, and was undergoing testing as of December 2017, but wasn't diagnosed until much later. I'm not sure if that was due to job loss, other stress and mostly me being on autopilot.

I can see where my life took turns that if I was more aware, more in control of my actions I would have avoided or done better.

The past is just that. Water spilled cannot ever be put back into the container, but at least I have some pretty Rorschach style tests to remind me of those...

Just woke up, in the middle of the night.

Meditated before bed.  Laid down to sleep.  Drifted into a meditative state before sleeping.  Had the following dream.  I was at my home in reality, except it had a more impressive type of gating system for the yard.  I had a bunch of cows and goats fenced in.  A tree of some sort, surrounded by a fence was in the yard across from mine. 

If you crossed that fence, I know, you would be stopped from touching the tree by some various animal.  I belive it was a bear.  Well a bunch of lions were running around outside of the fence, and I believe they were trying to take my livestock.

I ended up shoving one of the lions over the fence into the tree, which, if its the same tree from memory, opens a portal into another place.  Though I am not sure what it could be.  I need to do some research into it.

After that, the guardian creature appeared and started fighting off the lions, I took that time to gather some of them and add them to my 'farm' where they suddenly quieted down and became more docile.

I closed and latched all the gates, while putting some of the animals into a 'barn' which is my shed in reality.  I then whent and jumped the fence to go inside.  I looked at my 'water rock' or something similar.  It was a stone, split in half, and even though it was removed from its source, water still spilt from it when they wre split.  Even though there was no place for the water to come from.

Since I was reading a book on zen... The rock could suggest some from of enlightenment, the gathering of animals is bringing differentthings under control, and introducing them to spirituality.  Since water has been a symbol for spirituality and knowledge in the past for me.  In this case the rock having the ability to spring water from nothing sugguests either that my subconcious mind is making the connected from form and function not being that far removed, in fact being one in the same. *shrugs*

Sick...

Blah.  Sick.  And I was doing well with doing my meditation too.  Ah well.

Strange sounds.

Another odd night last night.  I was drinking a bit, and after coming back from the kitchen, heard an odd popping noise.  Went out there to check what it was, heard something from the dishwasher.  I just figured it was that, but the noise wasn't exactly the same.

Later that night.  I was asleep and woke up about 2:30.  I hear this noise, like claws against the rug on my floor.  A noise my dog Suzy would make, when she was alive.  I looked, nothing really was there to make note of.  I got up to use the lavatory, there *might* have been a shadow that was out of place.  But, having had a few drinks, I didn't bother to look into things to much.

Meditation and visual phenomina

I haven't posted here in a long while... My bad. Haven't had a lot of paranormal activity. Though I did have something very interesting that I wanted to note down, besides in my personal journal. Did a meditation last night, before bed. I could feel my mental state switching over. But I was tired, so I opened my eyes, to lay down to sleep. After I opened my eyes I could see a black figure at the foot of my bed. Blinking didn't make it disappear, and in fact I saw it move from side to side. I addressed it, said that I could see it, but I didn't feel like it had any malevolence. I laid down, and looked up at the ceiling. I could see a black mist, swirling above my head. Blinking seemed to make it fade a bit, but looking up at it again drew it into prominence. I'm not sure what to make of this. But, it was interesting, and I took note of it after waking up.

Dreaming of nighttime break ins

Last nights dreams were fairly interesting.  I was at home, and I was looking out my back window. I saw outside a deck, and beyond that a sparse treeline.  Beyond that was a River of some sort, and on the other bank wthere was more housing.

I noticed that underneith the window, where there was an air fresnher, there was now a switch.  I noticed across the river that the lights turned on, and then I flipped this switch again the lights went off.  There were more switches and I flipped them as well and more lights in a house across the street turned on.  

I looked at at the river again and noticed a little dingy out in the water.  I looked at the clock and notice it is late at night and that there wasn't enough time to go across the river.  So I decided to wait until the next day to go across the river and break into what I called "The Nunnery"  I went to sleep in the dream and then when I wok eup the switch was gone.  I waited until the next night and the swith reappeared.   Though when it got dark out I noticed a police officer outside poking around.  I waited until he was gone and then went and flipped the switches to turn on the lights.


I went out to the small boat and went across the lake and got to the other shore.  I did drift down river a bit more than I wanted to, but I somehhow found my way to the correct house.  I noticed that there were nuns walking around and I went up to the second floor.  I noticed that I was suddenly female in this dream and went up to a guy who saw me.  I somehow got away from him by posing as a nun and got inside the building.  I knew the nuns inside would know that I didn't belong and I made my way quickly though the building.  I found myself on the mans floor sleeping area,  I saw all the crosses hanging on the doors, and I entered a room so that a nun wouldn't see me.  I hid in an empty bunk and one of hte nuns  walked into the room when I crawled into the bed... they woke up the young man in the next bed over, and they both left.  As I laied there hiding I had a flash of insight as to why I was there.  I was to kill the person who ran the building.  I saw myself stabbing him repeatedly. After I stabbed him, his cell phone rang.  I remember thinking that "He was beat with cottentail."  THere was wallpaper on the walls, I believe I was in a libary, and underneaith the wallpaper there was writing.

I don't remember anything else.