Dreaming of nighttime break ins

Last nights dreams were fairly interesting.  I was at home, and I was looking out my back window. I saw outside a deck, and beyond that a sparse treeline.  Beyond that was a River of some sort, and on the other bank wthere was more housing.

I noticed that underneith the window, where there was an air fresnher, there was now a switch.  I noticed across the river that the lights turned on, and then I flipped this switch again the lights went off.  There were more switches and I flipped them as well and more lights in a house across the street turned on.  

I looked at at the river again and noticed a little dingy out in the water.  I looked at the clock and notice it is late at night and that there wasn't enough time to go across the river.  So I decided to wait until the next day to go across the river and break into what I called "The Nunnery"  I went to sleep in the dream and then when I wok eup the switch was gone.  I waited until the next night and the swith reappeared.   Though when it got dark out I noticed a police officer outside poking around.  I waited until he was gone and then went and flipped the switches to turn on the lights.


I went out to the small boat and went across the lake and got to the other shore.  I did drift down river a bit more than I wanted to, but I somehhow found my way to the correct house.  I noticed that there were nuns walking around and I went up to the second floor.  I noticed that I was suddenly female in this dream and went up to a guy who saw me.  I somehow got away from him by posing as a nun and got inside the building.  I knew the nuns inside would know that I didn't belong and I made my way quickly though the building.  I found myself on the mans floor sleeping area,  I saw all the crosses hanging on the doors, and I entered a room so that a nun wouldn't see me.  I hid in an empty bunk and one of hte nuns  walked into the room when I crawled into the bed... they woke up the young man in the next bed over, and they both left.  As I laied there hiding I had a flash of insight as to why I was there.  I was to kill the person who ran the building.  I saw myself stabbing him repeatedly. After I stabbed him, his cell phone rang.  I remember thinking that "He was beat with cottentail."  THere was wallpaper on the walls, I believe I was in a libary, and underneaith the wallpaper there was writing.

I don't remember anything else.

Moves and Races

Another dream post.  Last night I found myself dreaming about watching a movie in my brothers room.  For some reason his girlfriend, and our father were all crammed into his bedroom watching a movie.  The scenes on the TV swtiched between watching the movie, which I don't remember and watching a race on TV.

The race was made up of production cars racing each other. The scene that stood out to me was one were there were a bunch of burning vehicles lying on the sides of the roads, and the cars that were still left weaving between the burning wrecks.

The final scene was where the winning car turned into a transfromer type robot.

I feel like I actually forgot alot of this dream though.

Dreams of cobblestoned streets, and card games.

I was wandering though a series of cobblestone streets.  To my left was a railing heading down the side of a mountain, and the view beyond that was breathtaking. I was running around with a young woman, dark colored hair, fair colored skin.

As we ran around this cobblestone and brick community I saw a young man, looking very similar to David Tennant from Doctor Who.  I ignored him at first, continuing to spend time with whom I was with.  I went the opposite direction from him.  I remember heading back towards where the edge of the community was, along with the railing and the edge of the mountain. I saw him there again, even though I went the other direction.  He was there with a young woman who looked very similar to Nicole, though quite younger, as well as another young woman.  They were running around and generally having fun, similar to myself and my friend, though I couldn't be sure if it was a date like setting or just friends hanging out.


I found myself in a room, I believe it was with the same group of people though I honestly couldn't be certain. I found myself in what looked like to be a home.  Except there was a man behind a counter in the main entrance.  The young man we were with nodded at him and walked off to the left, down a hallway and into a room.  In there there was a dining room table, a half-wall with a pulled down shutter, and a ticket dispenser.

We sat at the table and he took out some cards, and we started to play a card game.  I blinked and it was like we had eaten dinner.  There were bits of melted butter on the table, and dirty dishes.  We were now playing a version of go fish.  I noticed that they had not put out cards for me, and I didn't say anything.

I blinked again and the cards were now away and someone was saying "The Lawyers (or something similar)" are coming, we have to clean up.  I remember scrambling to pick up silverware and kept dropping them or falling off the plates.

As an off note I also remebered some scenes from a different dream.  Me being in my home and having 3 sets of vitamins, as though I hadn't taken them in a while.  Some were more like cough drops instead of vitamins though.  Also wearing one work shoe and one shoe that is my normal 'every day' shoe.

Meditation Visions

I haven't written anything for this blog in quite a while... Mostly because everything has been quiet for a long time.  Not really a bad thing.  Last night I had an expeirence for the first time in quite a while.  Meditated did some chakra work, and gnerally enjoyed the sensations that come with doing such.  The usual tingles and feelings of weightlessness etc.  I noticed for the first time in quite a while an image playing across my vision.




 Its always interesting to note these because in the past they were always just that, notewothy and usually had something interesting to do with what was going on with me around the same time.  This time around I'm not too sure what to think about it.  I saw a skull of a bull. This image played around in front of me for quite a while, and slowly expanded to include what was seemingly a sand mandala surrounding the skull.

 I also asked my guides to give me their names.  Though I did that after having the vision. I did not remember my dreams from last night though.

Driving, Trains, and Buildings exloading.

I was in a car with another person, though who it was I cannot remember.  We were driving to a place where the employees for a company would park and then ride a train to work.  We got there by driving though a set of plastic dividers, and on the bottom of them where shells like from very large little-neck clams, or some other clam like that.  We drove though them doing 30 or 40 MPH and I rememer worrying that we might damage the clam portion on the bottom due to the speed we were going.  But I believe the driver was afraid that we were going to miss the train.

We got to the place where we are supposed to park, but there was a do not enter sign.  The driver ignored it and drove though the wrong way and parked in a parking space.

Somehow we got to the factory where these items were being made, what they were I cannot remember, though i remember talking to someone who worked there and they mentioned that "There are no handles on the doors."

As I was talking with them an alarm started sounding.  There came with it a voice over the intercoms saying for everyone to evacuate to the 3rd floor.  I saw in my minds eye (or outside of myself?  The building outside?)  A window in the 3rd floor explode outward and a huge fireball follow.

I woke up to my alarm.

Flying cars, and bridges from nowhere.

In last nights dream I found myself in a convertable car.  The car was flying though the air, though inky blackness,  I remember playing with the channels, and 'seeing' the names of the channels going by above the vehicle, like in GTA.  After going though the stations I turned off the radio and soon afterwards the car landed on a bride.  I got out of it and looked back, and saw just a wall of blackness, almost like a scene from Silent Hill.

As I looked back I noticed a brock wall appering out of nowhere, and walked towards it... following that another couple of wals slowly merging together into a single wall.  Looking closer I noticed a crack and though it a single spiral staircase.  Somehow I knew that this was a staircase going up from a basement, and not one heading downward.

As I looked I saw though the crack a shadow slowly shuffling towards me, and heard moans, slowly growing in strengh.  From behind I was attacked by a zombie and I remember attemptign to attack it with my bare hands.  I was awoken by the alarm clock before the dream could continue.

Fireworks mine?

Last night I dreamed once again.

I found myself at school, and I left there, heading off with no destination in mind.  I found myself stopping at a store that I knew to sell fireworks... Walking though I saw where they minded materials to make them, and as I walked though I noticed monks from Tibet, wearing robes and using materials to make sand mandalas.  I noticed later on that the people who worked there were sweeping up the mandalas, just as soon as a monk finished one, before he had even left.  I remember thinking to msyelf how insensitive the people who worked there must be to destory these beautiful works of art.

I'm not sure if anything else happend.  I just wrote this up from memory, though  did make a voice recording of the dream upon awakening.

Boarding house.

Last night I had  a dream that seemed very familar to me.  In fact the first words out of my mouth were, "I have dreamed about this place once before."

I found myself in a old broken dwn room.  the floor angled down toward the wall farthest from me at about a 35 to 40 degree angle.   The door to a hall way was on my left, at the far wall was a dresser laid upoits back, instead of drawers there were shoeboxes, and I knew that they were full of things that I had written myself, code, among other things.

I left the room. Looking around I saw another room across from me.  there was a sign hanging from the door saying "Chuck's Room"  There was another down on the right that said "Maternity Ward" with another sign beneath it, saying it was closed. To the left of me was another closed door, and to my right was an open one.  I walked into that room.

Sitting on an old run down couch was Megan from work.  She was playing with a remote control, trying to change some settings being shown on the TV.  I took it form here and started to look for certain files.  Seemingly knowing what I was doing.

I remember thinking to myself that I had set up this system, but for the life of me couldn't find the control that she was looking for.

Seeing numbers on the screen, I recognized 666% settings, as well as a few others.

I was woken up by my brother after seeing this percentage.

A few things that confuse me.... why was 'my room' at such a angle when the other room wasn't.  Why did I think of it as a boarding house, and as being haunted, but somehow controlled though the use of the technologies.... Just too many questions I think...

Dreams, of work, and finding bikes.

I was in a parking lot, wandering around.  I find a truck marked with seafood symbols and grab at it, somehow moving it using two handles on the rear side of the vehicle.  I then find inside it a pink girls bycicle, along with a pink backpack.

As I was looking though these items I notice a bunch of people in the uniforms from my work running around.  My coworkers in reality.  Someone else finds the bike next to me andsays that they have been looking for it for a few hours.  I also hand over the backpack to the guy.  My coworkers and I go up a slight incline and into the building, which happens to be the same type of store that I work at, just a different location.  We wander around, and one of my coworkers goes into a cafe, that is at the top of he store.

The store is built on an incline, near the 'top'  (that is the back)  the building has a very harsh incline.  I end up wandering around and find a bathroom up there as well.

There were other dreams from last night as well... I wish I could rmember them as well as this one.

Dreams and Tarot Pull

Its been a long while since I posted anything on here... Honestly I'm not even sure if anyone even checks this unless I post the link... So posting for my own record, whoo!

Had a few dreams... I was parked in a driveway somewhere... a very nice car comes and pulls into the place across the street and parks crooked... a woman gets out. and goes into the house... a cop comes flying buy, spins his car around in her driveway and goes off, his blues flashing.  Another one, an SUV comes and does the same thing... Starts to go, stops, does it again and spins barely missing her car.  He puts on his blues and follows the other cop.   The woman gets out of the house and comes over to my car, and seems very scared.  She asked me to drive her somewhere. 

Thats all I remember for that one.

Another dream was about me being in school  It was like I was drifting in and out of awareness... I was there for the duration of a usual Saturday night work-night.  4-930PM... The first teacher was a blond woman, like the one from the first dream... she was using the dry erase board, and the blue marker wasn't erasing, the red one was leaving smudges and afterimages behind.  The next teacher was a brunette and was using an overhead projector.  The flashes of light made me think of a motor-scooter like I saw in a top gear episode with tank like rear wheels and something to do with running from something. When I left the 'class'  An old friend from college, Keith was buying clams by the box and I helped him carry them to his car.  I asked what went on in the class and I seemly couldn't remember his explanation either.

I did a tarot pull asking why I suddenly remembered my dreams tonight after weeks of not doing so, and pulled the six of cups.

A gift, a new friend, new knowledge, that is how I view this card.

Ditching parties, up mountains.

I was in a school of some sort.  I drove there and there was a party in session or shortly there would be one.  I decided to leave before it would start... I left with two others, and I asked them which one of us had the fastest vehicle.  The guywith the truck won out, but he only had a quarter of a tank of gas.  We stopped and filled an old gas tank with preimum fuel.  An dthen continued driving.

Eventaully we started to go up steep concrete roads, around very sharp bends. I remember them explaining we were going up the way we were becuase the shorter mountian pass had mutants on it.  We eventually saw a sign for clean humans.  and saw a notch in front of us.  We accelarted up the notch and came outthe other side and landed in a type of village.  We were in a cortyard and found a way out of it eventually.  I remember getting jumped from behind by a golden retreiver puppy.  I reached into my pocket and found a waifer, and broke a peice off to give to the puppy.  The food multiplied in front of my eyes in the food bowl.  I then woke up.

Dreams of Ghosts, and closed bridges.

Two dreams last night.  One has of me being home with my family.   I want to say i was downstairs in my real home.  With my brother in his room.  I went into the bathroom to use the toilet. I looked up because the door was opening.  In walked a man, a bit shorter than me. He wore black pants, white buton down shirt, suspenders, and I believe black dress shoes.  He had a pencil type mustache.  I looked at him and was overtaken with a feeling of fear and dread.  I couldn't even scream. He didn't even look at me.  he just walked past me to the bath tub and started to lie down in it. I remember running out to my mother who was sitting on the couch, with tears in my eyes, still trying to scream.

The other dream was of me driving a car down a road.  I think my mother was in the passenger seat, and my father in the back seat.  there was a set of jersey barrier sin fron o fus. and I drov e around to thtthe road to the left of them.  There was a bridge, two lanes in each direction, I was in the right most lane.  looking to the right I saw that the barriers that blocked the other way was actually an illusion from where I was and that a car just drove though them from the road I just turned on to.  I followed the traffic oer this over bridge, and suddenly the nose of the car I was driving diped down, I saw the brown murkey waters of a river approaching.  I heard my fathers scream, I dook another breath before the car filled with water...

I woke up after that one, and stayed awake.  It was 10:30 am af that time anyways.

Dreams from last night

From before 6AM, I remember something to do about sherry, that is the drink, not the person.  Also trying to put a basket into the backseat of a convertible, and having it not fit.  So Rosi mixing something with sherry, and the basket thing.

After that I fell asleep again, and woke up around 10AM.

There were two people looking at a house.  The person who was trying to sell it was saying that the people who owned it were kind of strange.  If you stood on the stairs and pushed up on this part of the ceiling that the door would close and lock, and if you touch this fire alarm the doorbell will ring.

To me it seemed like the house was set up to be a fake haunted house.   They walked into the kitchen and saw a empty cup sitting on the coutner top, and a bin full of water.  The guy attempting to sell the house rinsed out the cup and put it away.

They looked at the phone sitting on the counter and saw a message.  The man selling the house said that it was probably a message from Africa, that they had been calling for a while, thinking someone was leaving messages from that number.

I also had a dream about driving down to college, getting out of class at 8PM and driving home... there was something else to this one, but I don't remember what it was.

Dreams from yesterday's eve, and last night.

Yesterday eve:

I was in a car, passing over a river, with my father and eldest brother.  The river was overfilled, swelling over the banks, the river into a lake.  Next to the river there was a drainage runoff, with lots of water running into it. 

We finally got to the lake, and there was a large stone or cemenet retaining wall, with the surf pounding against the banks the wall.  You could see water bubbling up from underneith the water levels rising.  The surf pounding the wall continously.

My brother was eating a cookie, and he broke off a peice and put it into a stone dog statue, and put another peice into an anthromorphic bloodhound statue, which had a leash attached.

We sat at a high wooden table with bar stools around it.  My alarm went off after we sat down.

Last nights:

I was at a cabin, I remember looking at it with someone else, maybe in a past dream, looking at this cabin and other houses.  I was with someone who was going to buy it.  I went out onto the deck, which is overlooking a ravine, and I was looking at the town down below though a pair of high powered binoculars. The last thing I remember doing is holding onto these binoculars and jumping off the deck, thinking that they would allow me to glide down safely.  I woke up after I jumped.

Barely remembered dream, and an oracle pull.

Last night, I dreamed about a little girl working in the deli, in my 5AM recording I said something about Pan's Labyrinth, and that was about it... probably because she resembled the main character in that movie somehow.

 For my pull I pulled the blackbird, reversed.

I asked "What animal is effecting today?"

"Drawn reversed, this card reminds you that the blackbird is the smith's bird, and his song may be calling you to work in the forge of your own heart -- to create a life of passion and purpose.  All four elements are used in metal-working, and to create a healthy and balanced life we must work with the power of the four elements, integrating and developing our minds and hearts, our instinct and our intuition.  Just standing at the gateway between two worlds, without truly working in either, is a denial of our own power and responsibility."

Work Dream.

I found myself in the deli back room.  Sam who I have not seen in ages was out back opening something.  I said hello to her, and she smiles and returns the greeting.  Looking around, the place is dingy, dark, not dirty really, just, bathed in shadow.

Walking out to the counter I see more workers, but don't say anything to them.  I walk towards the fish case instead.  Going there I see 2 women working, they both resemble Brandie, a woman that I worked with in days past, so I say "Hello Brandie"  One of them responds "That is not my name."

I feel awkward about it.  I then wake up I think.

I feel like there should be more to this dream, but I didn't copy it down when I first woke up with it, and instead barely remembered what you see here after I woke up probably a few hours later.

Signing things, Archibald's Weapon, and other things.

I found myself in what looked like an office or a collage building. I was in a hallway, and entered an office.  Inside was my father, and another man behind a desk.  He held a pen, and wrote down on an inkblot,  Professor Dumbledore, and then some things underneath it.  He then handed me a diary and a pen.  Written on the page was a paragraph, written in the first person, and I was supposed to sign it.  I signed my first name. 

The back of my head started to pulse, the beginnings of a headache. I signed my last name.  The pain got significantly worse. I then hear a voice "Its about time."

My father then signs it as well, under mine, and I see him sitting in the office eating Oero cookies. I left the office and walked out into the hallway.  I found myself with someone else outside of the office, and Suddenly I had to urinate. Suddenly there was a box in front of me and I was pissing in it.  The other person was standing to the side, who I never looked at and was watching me do so.  I finished up.

I turned and looked towards the office once again. I find a stairwell, and I go up.  I find myself inside of what seemed to suddenly be a house.  I find a bedroom upstairs, and find the dresser full of women's clothing, I leave that one and go into another bedroom and find it to be a guys bedroom, I find a few packages of condoms and take a few for laughs.  I am about to leave when I hear footsteps coming up the stairs.  I turn off the light in the room I'm in and hide in the corner behind the door, in front of me is a closet.  I wake up when the door starts to open.

I had another short vision like dream, where there was a young women on the ground, with a messenger bag around her.  On top of her was a reptile like a salamander or chameleon.  Its left front paw was on her right breast.  She had blond hair and green or blue eyes, when she tried to get up it was like the reptile pushed down in her breast to hold her in place.

There was another dream, after I had fallen back asleep.  I was in a castle of some sort.

My first words upon waking up after this one was.  "This one seemed to be me using the knife of someone used Archibald, I used his knife in what seemed to be a ritual, and it went somewhat awry.  And his reasoning was that since it was his knife, that it was tied to his person and the results were for him, and not for me."

I then remembered more.

I was in a castle, or a house and I was looking for someone.  I ended up getting to a room, fighting to get there or threatning my way, using Archibald's weapon.  I came face to face with the person who owned this place, and he had his guards grab me and throw me into a room behind a panting and it was filled with children, who were kept there as slaves or something worse.  I think the ritual part came about after I was put into the room, but still the finer details are lacking.  I'm not sure who Archibald even is.  I did ask CZ if the name means anything to him and he said that when he has to, that is what he uses as a first name, Captain Archibald Zeros Esq.

Not sure what it was about at all to be honest. 

Car accidents, washed out roads, and crumbling Bridges.

I left for work, getting on the highway, passing by a few cruisers their lights flashing.  As I drove down the road, I noticed that the traffic was getting slimmer, looking towards the northbound traffic I saw a pile of cars on the roadway.  A brown car, possibly an older style Lincoln hit the pile of cars and few up into the air, crashing down onto the road.  I hit my breaks. A Police officer came up behind me in his vehicle, lights flashing and I pulled off to the side of the road.  He came up to my window and yelled at me.

"Didn't you know not to leave your house?"

"I didn't know anything was going on..." I trailed off.

I got out of my car and we both walked a bit of a ways down the now devoid highway.  Passing by empty or smashed up cars.  We walked up to a roadblock set up with jersey barriers, and looking down I could see the entire road washed away.  I looked at the officer and started to say something, when I heard a crack.  Looking up I saw small fissures appearing in a bridge above us.  I looked at him in horror and ran towards the northbound side, jumping over the barrier, and continuing on.  A piece of concrete fell from above barly missing me, I jump over it and then over another set of barriers onto a brick platform.

Another person was on this platform as well.  I watched as the bridge collapsed downward.

----

If I had to guess this seems like a "World crashing down, only time to react" type dream.  Not really sure what to make of it.

I did have another short one.  Something about my puppy Teddy climbing a large chain link fence.  There was a few other dreams last night as well, but I don't really remember them well.

Woo! Got my cards early!

Well, I ordered the Druid Animal Oracle cards earlier this week and got them today, a day before they should have gotten here according to their estimate!

So, I did a pull.

I pulled the dog, reversed.

"This card urges you to examine the degree to which you or those around you may be lacking in faithfulness or loyalty.  Ask yourself to what extent you value these qualities in your friends and lovers, and to what extent you and they express these values.  if you find it difficult to keep friendships, Cu as your ally will help you to develop the qualities of selflessness and trust that will nurture close relationships.  But remember that sometimes loyalty and faithfulness can be inappropriate -- a dog is often submissive and anxious to please even a cruel owner."

Climing a tower? LOTR cast?

A shortish dream remembered.

I was following a group climbing a tower.  It looked like a Dwarf, or Hobbit was running up the steps of a tower, going up in circles.  Every once in a while I could see a hallway leading off into the distance go by, but they continued to climb.

Behind them, was a young woman, followed by a larger group, at least one Dwarf, and another Hobbit, and others as well.

The first person ran past another hallway, and I could see off in the distance a caged in area, with prisoners behind the bars. One of the women yelled out "They are following you!"

The first person suddenly came flying down the steps and the young woman, and the others caught up and passed up, reaching the next landing.  A cage door swung shut and locked.  She looked up and said "Gandalf, why are you not fighting back?"  Seeing though her eyes I could see one Dwarf, along with some others.  The Dwarfs shoulders were hunched down.

I woke up after this.

Busy night, only a short bit remembered.

It was a fairly busy night, dream wise, I think I woke up a couple of times thoughout the night, remembering bits and peices of dreams.

The only bit I remembered was the following.

I was at home, with my brother in his room.  I was discussing with him how I was looking at a few items for sale, and how much they cost.  We already have one on rent and the other we could also rent, apperently.

This is a direct thing that -is- sort of happening now, where we have a game rented that we like, and can buy for 18 dollars.

I think in the dream I was told that they might have it in Alaska, but not around here.

*shrugs*

Car rides, restaurants, and coworkers.

I dreamed that I was in a car with Rosi, Melissa, and possibly one other person.  We stopped at a restaurant because Melissa was hungry, and I thought about asking her to get me a tomato soup while she was in there, but the third unknown person told her to hurry up that no one wanted anything.

She got out and went into the one that we parked in front of.  To our left was another one with the name Falintino's, Rosi said that she really liked that place and highly recommends it.  The other person I guess agreed to go eat there, so they both got out, I told them that I would tell Melissa that we were going to eat there, and went into the other noname place.

She was already seated, and while wandering around I saw Tammy and her family sitting down, they waved and I waved back. 

A bit of time passed, and I found myself in my room.  My finger was hurting, my left pointer finger.  Used a bit of my fathers medical supplies, some antiseptic along with some liquid skin type compound to seal the wound.  It burned some but wasn't that painful.

As I sat in front of my computer I started to get some IM's from different screen names, one of them said something to the effect "I was hoping to see you naked"  I'm not sure who it was from though, but I believe that it was from the restaurant portion of the dream.  There were at least 4 IM's going at this point.

Funny enough In real life, I know that Chantal works at a place called Valintino's which is a grocery store that sells cooked things as well, breakfast, deli sandwiches, among other things.

Short, strange dream.

Last nights dream featured a woman, large in structure, tall.

She was wearing a pilgrim like had, round brim all the way around, looking like a tophat, along with a button down black coat that had tails on the back. going down to at least knee length if not a bit longer.  She was also wearing black slacks.

I remember hearing a voice say "She looks more like a wizard than a witch"

Weird, but I wanted to remember it.

I done went and did a thing.

I've always been very interested in Drummond, as Luinbariel is aware.

I decided to try to contact my own guides for once.  I started by lighting my candle, as sad as it probably is for this purpose.  I then started meditating, and waited till I could feel my energy.

I requested from my guides, that I wish for their council, tonight in my dreams, or to work though me tonight if they so wished it.  I said that they could use my candle as a beacon, that it was lit for them to help find me. 

I poured energy into it, while accepting more into myself.  The energy leaving both of my hands were blue, from my left, and green from my right.  The energy entering me was white to yellow in color.

I then worked on my shielding, programming them to let Luinbariel, Drummond, and my guides in.  While keeping those wishing me harm or those with negative influence out.  While doing this I felt something akin to a hand hold my left forearm. Followed by tingling in my left foot and left hand.

I also felt my right bicep twinge when I was setting up a shield to help protect me from scrying attempts from someone that I know has the ability to remote view.

While doing that last one, the candle in front of me flickered a few times, and I saw it play on the inside of my eyelids.

Failed meditation, and a dream

Well, I had planed on attempting a bit of a dream experiment... But I ended up falling asleep while in the middle of the meditation...

Regardless, I did have at least one interesting dream that I remember, after waking up at 8AM, and remembering nothing, I fell asleep for 2 hours and remembered the following.

I was at work.  The entire deli and seafood area was torn apart, and a large number of construction workers were working in the seafood area, replacing items.  I remember feeling out of it, in this dream, foggy and hazy.

I remember that I thought there were customers around, still waiting to be helped, even though there was literally nothing to be sold because the cases were torn apart.  I remember looking at the desks in the seafood area and seeing three of them stacked on top of one another.  I reached up to grab something and spilled a bunch of tiny plastic cups, like the ones the kitchen uses to put dipping sauces in, onto the floor.

I felt like I was stumbling, so I left the area.

I found myself in something resembling a home. There was a fairly large gathering of people.  I am actually not sure how many of them I actually remember knowing.

I do remember one person that stood out from the rest.  A young woman, who was sitting by herself for most of the evening.  I just walked up to her and struck up a conversation.

The details of it have faded, but her demeanor reminded me a lot of Luna from Harry Potter.

I remember her spilling her drink when she was pouring herself something and that she just stared at where it fell on the table, and I wiped it up for her.

There was another dream... but for the life of me I cannot remember it.

Strange Dream

I was watching the television in my bedroom, on the screen was two different people, with a black line dividing them, on the left side was a person discussing a plan to investigate an area., behind him was a map, and it depicted an area covered in forest, with a river dividing the forest in half, this person was dressed in a space suite, and the person on the right was dressed more normally.  And they were discussing the plan, but were in two separate areas.  The one of the left was called Slash numerous times by the one on the right.  I believe that it had to do with searching for a creature similar to Bigfoot.

From there the dream seemed to move forward to a colonial style village.  I'm guessing that this is the place where the creature sightings where.  The style of clothing was very similar to this.

Some of it actually reminded me of the movie The Village.

One of the few scenes I remember is the following.

I remember the group of children discussing their experiences. Eventually they decided to go somewhere and when they got back one of their number was missing.  One of the boys said to the girls that it was one of the adults who was supposed to be watching them. "Maybe it was them, maybe that's why they are not here anymore."

Suddenly a voice from behind them said.  Something like "What about me?" and then "Maybe I should do an Irish Jig."

He walked out to the middle of the floor of the cabin, the light from the oil lamps casting his skin an orange glow. He began to dance.  I remember feeling some abject feeling of horror at seeing him dance.

I was then woken up to get ready for work.

I also remember another scene, i don't remember where it was... maybe between where the 'adult' figure shows up, and the children were talking about him still... I remember them mentioning that maybe the other child had hung himself.

All of the clothing looked homemade, homespun.  It actually reminded me of what you would see Amish people wear today.

Of climing mountians in cars.

I must admit, this was a strange one for me.

I found myself in a car, with who I believe was my father.  We saw a bunch of cars pass, if I had to guess, I would say they were Chevelle SS's.  They passed by us, and then went up a side road heading up a kind of steep incline. My father in the passangerseat looked at a road to our right and then called out suddenly.

"Take this next right" (although in the dream its hard to say if I heard him say this, or heard him think this particular thoughtO

I turned our car onto what turned out to be a dirt path and hit the gas.  I watched as the slow incline started to get higher, soon we were climbing a hill that had to be at least a 45 degree incline.

I hit the gas harder and heard the dirt fly out behind us as we climbed the hill. Suddenly trees loomed ahead of us, and I turned the wheel to the right.  The car continued to climb the impossible hill.

After a bit more climbing more trees loomed ahead, I turned the vehicle to the left this time and saw a wall of trees ahead of us.  The car spun.

I found myself outside of the vehicle, holding on to a rope.  Easing the car down, I attempted to rest the front bumper against a rock jutting from the ground.  As I eased the car there I saw the rock sag forward, the car moved with it, towards a cliff just beyond it. 

I woke up just after this.

I think I also had a dream where I was working with a new person, or maybe it was Dave who has been working another job for the past few months...   Other than that nothing worth mentioning.

Interesting information.

So, I've been reading the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton.

Its quite the interesting book, describing soul groups, guardians, teachers, among other things.


One of the things that caught my attention was the color scheme as it is described in the book, white being the youngest uneducated souls, up to yellow, dark yellow, light blue, then dark blue/purple.


I notice the color green is interestingly absent from this scheme, which is a healing color, so maybe it has less to do with the experience of the souls and more to do with them if they are a good healer or something similar?


This also reminded me of how in Luinbariel's aura drawings she was quite the purple color.  Just made me chuckle.  I am also reminded of the fact that alot of the descriptions of things in this book are quite alike to Luin's dreams about the matter of souls passing over into the afterlife.


Interesting information, as I said.

Interesting weekend

This weekend has been quite an interesting one for me.

I had a life reading over the phone.  Had some ideas confirmed, had some new ones tossed about, had others that were similar uttered, but that had their differences.

Not sure what to make of it all... But I was told this... My life is about balance, between logic and intuition... I can see this.

If I remember correctly one of the times that I had Luinbariel do a tarot card pull for me, it was all about balance, about finding what was going to work for me, when it came down to logic, and intuition, thinking and feeling.

The other interesting thing that came from that was the idea that my soul group, which is 3 others besides myself, were supposedly monks in a previous life.  Food for thought.

I also did a tarot thread for /x/ tonight, my first one.  Seemed to go really well, and was a fun time... I must remember to try this again.

More meditation imagery.

I was lying down for bed last night.  Relaxing as I normally do, slipping into a meditative state.

I noticed something that looked like intestines, or maybe worms?  Followed by teeth, they looked canine, it went from seeing the outside to seeing it from the inside of the mouth.

Don't remember much from my dreams last night though...

Whatever that was about :-/

Meditation symbols, Multiple dreams. What?

Okay...

So, Before falling asleep I saw an image while meditating.

It was of a tree, stretching up wards looking normal, but the bottom of it, where one would expect to see roots was more like two large roots coming from either end, looking more like fangs, or triangles.

I drew a rough sketch above, of what it was similar to.

I also did some energy work, saw some more baby blue background colors, did some shielding with specific instructions on who or what was allowed in, I specifically said to 'let the dreams come' while doing the sheilding.

I had a dream about being at work, where Rosi asked me to stay til 1:30 instead of staying til 1.  Fun fact, I got out of work early Sunday, 1PM, instead of staying til 2.  *shrugs*

Another dream was me being at home, taking vitamins.  For some reason I couldn't swallow the multivitamin. I kept chocking on it, and spitting it back into my hand, and it was melting quite badly. I attempted to take it one more time, and it ended up breaking in my mouth into three pieces, and one of them lodged into the back of my throat.  I remember spitting out two of them, and feeling the last one lodged there, chocking on it.  Reaching back into my throat I attempted to grab it with my fingers.

I woke up, made a recording of the dream on my DVR, and then went back to sleep. 

The next dream was also quite interesting.  I dreamed that I stole my brothers lighter from his room, and took it to mine.  While I was there I smoked a couple of cigarettes then grabbed something else. It looked like this.

It was tied with red yarn, and was quite dry, smoldered quite a bit, but stayed lit when it was dragged on.

I mention that it is similar to the thing that I saw while meditating, but it wasn't have the pointed edges at the bottom, though the thing in the meditation reminded me more of a tree, where this is a bound bundle...

I was smoking these things in my room, and it was quite dark... I remember seeing the color of the flame from the lighter dancing across the room when I lit one of these things.  The cigarettes didn't have much effect on me, but when I lit the bundle it felt like I had suddenly drank a whole six pack of beer in short order.  Buzzed and or drunk, I remember getting up, and going to my door of my room, and looking out into the hallway, I blew smoke into the hallway and watched it linger.  I looked towards my parents room, and closed the door, noticing the light was on in their room, but only near my mothers computer.

I sat down and relight the bundle, and noticed it seemed to have some sort of leaves on the edges of the sticks, but not down into the base. I took a few more puffs, and then the door to my room opened.  I remember shaking the stick and watching the embers go out, the smoke waft into the air.  I put it behind my bed, and took a leaf from a tree and put it next to it.  The lighter was still in my hand, still lit, even though I had a hard time lighting it the second time and I remember hiding it behind my back, I remember seeing the light playing off my arms, and closing the lid to put it out, but never being burned, or anything catching on fire even though I remember putting it down on my bed while it was still on.

My brother was in my doorway showing me a rope that was seemingly chewed though. it was alternating yellow/orange/black rope.  He went to go show my mother, and her door was now closed and he just walked into her room like he did mine.  I took the lighter downstairs, and it was really dark down there too.  My father was sitting in his recliner in the living room, and said hello.  I went and put the lighter into my brothers room and left it on his tower speaker.

I also barely remember having a dream about an angel like figure being chased down for one reason or another, but also remember believing that it wasn't me that they were chasing... maybe I was watching someone else being chased?

*shrugs*

Of Strange meetings, and contests?

I'm not really sure which dream came first.  I remembered the one about the contest first, and the one about the meetings later.

The contest one is pretty straight forward.  I was in my room on my computer.  With a person that I haven't had any interaction with since probably... high school at the latest.

They were on my computer entering a contest.  I remember at first they entered the website wrong and the were complaining about it, but then reentered it and managed to get to the page.  The website had 7 boxes to complete and I remember one of them was saying about entering a sex vid, no shorter than 2 minutes. She blushed and turned the monitor away while she started answering the questions.  So I started to browse the internet on the other monitor... Though I remember distinctly thinking that it was my computer so that I would probably know anything that she entered anyways.

I remember running across a website and I believe I was distracted by something, and it turned out to be a gif page, and it started with Cris Hanson flying out of nowhere and then sound started to pour out of the speakers.  Even turning them off I could still hear it echoing in my head.

The other dream I remember was pretty strange too.  I was with another person, and I remember that a third woman had asked us to help her with her husband, My female friend left to do something and I remember that her hair was I believe black.  Whereas the woman we were trying to help had blonde hair.  My friend came back after some time, her hair was now dyed blonde, and she seemed pretty freaked out.  Seemingly this guy somehow managed to trick her or persuade her to dye her hair because he liked blondes more.

I remember that the one that needed our help sort of got the answers that she was looking for.

Later there was a larger group sitting at a round table.  A girl, the one with black hair approached me, and she said to me "I'm sorry I haven't been paying much attention to you lately."  She reached out her pointer finger on her left hand, and I remember grasping it with my fingers.  Looking down at her hands I saw that all the fingertips on that hand looked cracked, dry, or bleeding.  I remember putting my arm around her waist and hugging her.

There was also a scene of a three way somewhere in this dream... though it was more of a flash, I believe it had the black haired girl, the blond and someone else in it.  Me? The Blonds husband?

I'm not sure really...

Dreams of Home. Dreams of Luin, possibly. Meditation Visions, Oh My!

So, I had a few dreams last night, after saying that I hadn't been remembering any.

I was at home, seemingly alone, in my eldest brothers room, watching his TV, seemingly Friday night television, he wasn't home, but I believe Teddy, the puppy that my family has recently gotten was with me.  Overall the feeling of the dream was 'dark' but not 'menacing'. I believe that I had to take him out at one point... I mention in a recording that it was weird...

As for hat I did remember upon waking...

I had a dream about having a dream.  In the dream I wrote down a dream that I had about Luin in her attic.  There was a ramp going up and coming from there was leaves blowing down.  From what I could tell I was seeing though her eyes, and she was attempting some sort of ritual.  As she was doing it, the leaves were blowing around her, like a cyclone of some sort. If I had to guess they were comming out of a broken skylight or something similar.

I was writing these details down on a piece of paper using a pencil in the dream that I had.  But it was like remembering a dream within a dream.

Also while I was trying to fall asleep I had a vision of a snow embankment.  Sitting in it was a head. As I watched it, it slowly melted down into the embankment until it disappeared.

In other news... I'm still sick, called my doctor and he wants to continue the medicine I'm on now, and wants me to stay out of work for a few more days, Rosi, my assistant manager isn't going to schedule me until Friday of next week.  Bless her.

Trips, Cars, and Confucius

Dreaming about cars, near misses, as far as accidents go.

I was on a road trip with someone.  We ended up stopping at what seemed to be an abandoned lot. The person I was with got out of the car, ran into the lot and used it as a lavatory.  Someone started to clear it out with a plow, and found the excrement and threw it at my car, I believe it landed on the roof.

From there I found myself driving, and the car in front of me pulled off into the left lane, I slowed down some and he almost sideswipes my car getting back into the right lane.  I'm not sure what destination was in mind though.

I found myself with my father, and I was driving to work, and I parked in a parking lot, bu tit was a strange parking lot.  I almost drove out of hte parking lot.  I turned around found a parking spot.  To the right of it was handicapped parking, and behind it was a parking spot that was reserved for a wrestler of some sort.  There was a machine next to my car that was there for reading fortunes.   I believe my father said it was Confucius sayings.

My father starts talking to some woman, I belive she parked in the wrestler parking spot.

 Both of my brothers are there suddenly.  My brother Doug was talking to some fat guy who was sitting on a bench, while Randy was saying how he taught Doug this or that.

Weird dream.

I had a dream about a person who had a bunch of creatures or monsters contained within a white divided type of container, that looked like Tupperware.

I remember that one of them was something similar to an angel, and that I had caught it, and they took it from me, hugged me, then put it into the container with a bunch of others.

I remember another part of the dream where they were lying on top of me?  Fully clothed I think, but it was seen from a third person perspective. 

I think that I had 'seen' this container before falling asleep like in a vision maybe, but it was kinda strange.

I remember another part of the dream, where she used a knife pushed into the lid to open it, and it seemd to not take any damage... not sure what to make of any of this though.

Dreams from the nights of the 16th, and 17th

Lets see, night before last.  I dreamed that the fish case was stocked with some fish, but mostly lemons... and also about a packet of pills, starting with a Z, the thought I had upon waking up was either anti-depressants, and with just asking a friend about those sorts of things they said either Zoloft or Xanax.  One is an anti-depressant, the other is an anti-anxiety.

The other dream from that night was a bit longer.  I was looking for books... Some of them seemed to be strategies for Starcraft, to be precise, Zerg strategies. I also found a fantasy book set in the Starcraft universe, also about the Zerg.  I was in a bookstore looking at these things, and then found myself in a garage of some sort, and up in a second floor window, outside was the guy who owned the books.  I was thinking about how I could pay him, when he was up there and I was down here...

Somehow I ended up finding one of my coworkers, Megan, and her boyfriend Adam.  We were talking, though I don't remember about what, and I put my arm around her, while Adam was watching.  He didn't react and somehow we ended up in a three way hug.


Last nights dreams were not quite as.... pleasant.

I was at work again.  I was near the trash compactor, when I started to hear this clinking sound, one bit after another.  I backed away from the entrance to the machine and watched as something resembling a sword came out of the opening, followed by another.  I backed away from it and into the grocery back room proper.  I turned away from the spider like creature made of metal and looked around me.  The back room was in chaos.  As I watched one of the larger power jacks was surging forward on its own, while an associate that works there was struggling to stop it.  He lost control and let go of the machine.  I ran forward grabbed the control stick and held back on the accelerator. It pitched back and forth as if it was struggling to move forward and backward at the same time. 

One of the grocery personal looked at me when I grabbed onto the machine, and yelled out "I don't think you're authorized to use that machine!"

I looked at them in shock, then flipped up a button on the machine, and flipped the switch to an off position.

---

I then found myself outside, walking home.  All around me where rolling hills, green as far as the eye could see.  Close to me was another Market Basket, and in the distance, trees dominated the landscape.  Walking past the pathway that led up to the store, I observed 3 individuals walking along the paved path. I looked past them and continue along my path, watching as one of the three dropped behind them, two walked in front of me and with a slightly faster pace move away from me down the path.  the one behind me ends up tapping me on the shoulder.  Turning to look I see Nick, someone I used to work with at Market basket.  I then notice that I'm still wearing my deli uniform and Market Basket ballcap. 

"Hey Nick, long time no see..."

"What are you talking about you just saw me a little while ago..."  He replied.

I think back to the last time I had seen him, and realize that he is correct. (This is not true in reality however, but somehow was in the dream itself."

Walking along we chatted for a while.

-----

I found myself in a house.  It reminded me alot of my grandparents home, except looking though the windows in the kitchen you could see into the backyard, which there wasn't such windows in their home.  I could see a pool where the bedrooms should have been, and past that what looked to be a glass room further down, lit up.  I saw my mother in the kitchen area, and she said that we would be staying two weeks.  I thought to myself how I didn't bring any clothing, and how I wasn't even dressed to use the pool, when I looked down at my clothing to notice that I was wearing a pair of orange swim trunks (which I own in reality) and a black t-shirt.

Walking outside I now saw that everyone I had seen outside had left, except for my father who was in the aqua-jet portion of the pool. I jump in and swim around a bit, then when I'm looking to get out I see that I'm supposed to put one leg on the edge of the pool and pull myself out, that there was a graphic on the edge of the pool showing this method.

My father, was standing there and then for some reason the entire pool changed.  Its no longer an underground pool, but an above ground one.  The water itself didnt' change levels, so I'm standing in ankle deep water, and he shows how you can "open" the side of the pool, the water that was there stayed there and I step out onto the grass.

Then I woke up.

Sigils...

Ive been kinda lacking in doing esoteric things lately... so I got a kick in the butt, and have made a few sigils... one is hand drawn, and is above me currently...

The other is private as well, but was made on the computer... this was the second attempt and I think it looks better than the first. Much more compact.

Well... One of those days.

Well today ended up being one of those days it would seem.

Woke up and the only thing i could remember was looking though a hexagonal shaped webbing at someone wearing a raccoon hat.  Not sure if it was a mirror, or a window, or what it could have been.

I think I might have also dreamed about work somehow... but not much in the way of detail to that one.

Work sucked.  Someone called out, had to call someone else in, even with that person comming in an hour later than the called-out-shift, it was busy enough to the point where there wasn't much time to get prep-work done.

To top all of it off, my dog Suzy was supposed to have surgery today.  She was taken outside, and I got a phone call while i was on my way to work "She laid down and won't get up"  They managed to get her into the car, and called me again that she was being taken to the hospital.  She died on the operating table, before the vet could even start the surgery. 

R.I.P. Suzy.  :(

The weird thing is.  When I was leaving work, I knew by what my father had said that something had happened and as I was driving out of the parking lot I felt a pressure on my right shoulder. Not sure what to make of it all...

Strange tides are flowing...

So... things are stirring up it seems.  Old places are coming alive, people, friends, acquaintances and even some new faces popping out of the woodwork among the paranormal groups.

In the last few days I have personally had a few interesting conversations showing awareness among people that I wasn't actually sure were interested in the occult.  Ive come back into contact with people that I thought had possibly long since moved on. 

Some of these people are fun to be around, others are a bit more annoying, but in an odd way I respect their position and the way that they approach the occult, considering how different it is from my own.

Its interesting to notice that many of these people seem to have their own stories to tell about how things are 'heating up'  or gaining momentum. Like over the last few weeks... a group I used to be a member of suddenly had its old leader pop back into things, he created one thread on a popular paranormal-related site and suddenly faces I hadn't seen in almost 9 months are back on my radar.  Brought with that was the information that some people were active on Skype.  I sign in on that and lo and behold there are people on there messaging me out of the blue and then rejoining said group's IRC channel.

Its just all falling together so quickly.

There is another 3rd group that I was a member of, and I believe they are watching this blog and you know who you are if this is true...  A new face claiming to be a part of said group popped into IRC seemingly being very hostile and confrontational.  I'm just pretty sure that this isn't the end of things, that they are only just gaining strength...

Makes me wonder what all of this will end up bringing in the future.

Tarot, Thoughts.

Three of pentacles , Present

Page of wands, reversed, Future.

Got that pull for the question "What is coming"

The card for the present is one that shows the three of pentacles with the master artisan putting finishing touches to a church mural or whatever.  Its a card of completion, dealing with money and such.

The next card page of wands when it is reversed is generally negative, but doesn't seem to be very specific about what its portraying... Unless Luin has a better idea.  I just feel too lazy to put the pictures in.

If I had to guess the first card seems to be dealing with success in money matters, maybe dealing with the job that I applied for and had one interview so far for?  I haven't heard back from him yet.

The second???  I'm not sure...

I also cant help but feel that Ive been a butt lately.  Towards Luinbariel in particular... Ive been so caught up in my own crap that Ive been bugging her about my problems way too much... I dunno... Just kinda came to my attention that *surprise* she might have her own issues to deal with and me talking about mine all the time is kinda a dick thing to do.

I guess I'm trying to say that I'm sorry... I appreciate all of the time that you do spend with me... I've just been way too needy lately and haven't been very understanding...

More dreams.

Hmm.

Dreamed that I woke up at 8PM at night and got on my computer to find Luinbariel talking to another unknown nick in the IRC channel that we frequent.  I mentioned how it was odd that I was waking up and it was 8 o'clock at night

Another dream was that I left my house at night and drove to the grocery store.  I got in line and bought 2 packs of cigarettes along with another item and the total cost was 60 dollars.  I gave them a 50 and a 10 and got a penny back.  As I was paying for my items another customer attempted to walk behind the counter and was told to wait their turn and that they were not allowed behind the counter.  I finished paying for it and left, and when i got outside I noitced that my brothers SUV was idling in the parking lot close to my car.  The passenger door to my car was wide open and my brother opened the window of his vehicle and yelled at me.

Thats about all I remember at the moment.

EDIT:  Was just reading my book, and it had a chapter about influencing people.  It mentioned interviews, interestingly enough.  Which caused me to remember this little dream.

I was looking at a website of some sort that had the names of the people that interviewed for the computer operator position.  Under my name when I clicked it, it had only one bullet.  When clicking on another persons name it had multiple ones, they seemed to be positive things about that applicant.

Hopefully not a foretelling dream I guess...

Dreamin of socks?

Dreamed that I was at work, and someone walked up to me looking for a sock that they had lost.  They were wearing one sock and I walked into recieving at work looking for it for them.  Eventually they found what they were looking for and while I was there I found a pair of wool socks that I own in reality I picked them up and brought them with me.  There were a few other articles of clothing there as well.

Whelp...

I'm actually not sure what to make of any of it.

Ill just copy and paste cause its easier...

I should also mention I did some grounded meditation today.  Seemed like some of the colors that I was 'seeing' were darker than they should have been, at least as far as the heart chakra, the throat, and the root.  Not sure if that was just me or something that I should have paid more attention to...

[21:09:07] <@Lycaon> So, sitting downstairs eating nachos with my parents. My mother says "Seems like alot of activity around this place, lots of people wandering about"
[21:09:17] <@Lycaon> not sure if she ment inso much as spirit activity or what.
[21:10:29] <@Lycaon> Also, sitting downstairs watching tv with my brother as the parents watched the superbowl.  I'm leaning on my left elbow, when that same shoulder suddenly felt like someone took a finger and just PUSHED down on it.  Like literally enough pressure to cause me to fall deeper in that direction.  Then a feeling like lighting coursing though that shoulder from the pressure down though the rotator cuff.

beyond that.  I was talking to my older brother about what my mother had said.  He didn't think she meant anything metaphysical, and said that he hadn't noticed anything lately... but I have on some occasions, shadow people and such, so I'm not sure what to think on that front.

Couple of dreams.

The night before last... I dreamed that I got my pacakge.  I ended up getting my books that day.

Last night I dreamed that I smoked ciggerettes for whatever reason... The ash burned my lungs, and all of that, in the dream... quite uncomfortable.  Though not the first such dream ive had like that.

Also on an unrelated note, I just wanted to say that today sucked.  9-7 is such a horrible shift, especially when its followed by a 6:30 - 1 the day after.

Feels like you get to literally nothing all day, get up, go to work, get home eat, watched a crappy movie... (BAD BAD BAD movie.)  and now I'm going to go to bed... Did go online to see who was on, and thats about it.

I dunno... everything about today sucked though... I'm still holding out some hope that the guy will get back to me about the job at corporate.   I really need to get out of that place.

Also, Ive been sick for almost 2 weeks, it will literally be two weeks tuesday.  headache, sore throat, the whole 'ear thing' where its just buzzing/rinning and feels like its wrapped in cotton. Ugh.  I just want to make it all stop.

Ugh.

Okay so conjunctivitis kinda sucks, and my mannager is kind of a dick.  Both of my ears now hurt, though the right one is still ringing and is hard to hear though.  My throat still hurts, along with my cough.

I called out of work again, and this time he actually *let* me.

As far as dreams.  I dreamed that I was at work *surprise*.  I was with the receiving guy, Tony.  He asked me to go into his desk and find a card for him.  it was supposed to be in some tin, and I remember looking though it and not being able to find it.  Like i would find myself in the 's' section and know that it was supposed to be before it.

Thats about all I remember for dreams from last night though.

That was different.

People should know that I dislike confrontation.

I confronted someone, told them how I feel.  Then felt like I was given platitudes to make me want to stay.  I didn't like how he reacted to Luins depatrture, I didn't like how he tried to make it seem like she wasn't doing enough, because she wasn't doing what HE wanted her to.

Fuck them.  To me, magic doesn't work when you WANT it to.  It works when your called to do it, and the timing is right.

Tarot Pull, along with more thoughts.

First off, my general card for the week is the hanged man.

If I remember correctly this is a card depicting the metaphysical over the physical.  Or maybe it is supposed to be the control over such.

According to the book I have... "In spiritual matters, wisdom, prophetic power.  A pause in one's life, suspended decisions.  Self-surrender leads to the transformation of the personality.  Material temptation is conquered."

To me that isn't what my thoughts where when I saw the card.

On to my thoughts... I feel slightly passed over by a group of friends that may or may not read this... I'm not sure what to make of it though.  A part of me thought I was over being accepted by them, but another part of me wonders why I was so obviously overlooked.  Though I have thought that one of them doesn't really care for me much.  I shouldn't be that surprised.

Ah well.  I seem to care too much 90% of the time.

Ugh.

I'm just going to put down a few thoughts today.  Call it a rant, call it what it is.

I love getting mixed signals.  I hear on one hand. "We don't care if you go out, just let us know."

I then hear on the other hand.  "I don't see why you have to go out on a weekday, you should have the curiosity to come home by 9PM."  "I don't see why alcohol has to be included when you go out." "I hear all the time about kids drinking then getting into accidents."

Blah blah blah.

Okay I went out with a couple of friends, had 2 16 ounce glasses of beer, and a whole steak tip dinner.  I'm 25 years old, and weigh about 190 pounds...

Just...  I don't even know what to say.

Last Night...

Last night was a bit of an odd one.

I was eating dinner with my family when the lights flickered.  Could have sworn that I heard a voice cry out faintly as it did so "Momma" Or "Mommy".  My brother, who sits across from me at the table seemed to look around like he heard something as well, so I asked him "Did you hear it too?"  He gave me a look that I'm still not sure meant and asked me what I meant.  I just told him "Never mind."

Later after a few beers, and TV, and some general time with my brother I went upstairs to go to sleep.  Upon lying down for a while I heard something like a thud, or a 'sprong' Almost like a spring being released, like in my old bed.  Or maybe something akin to a hand hitting the side of the bed.  But since I don't have a bed with springs in it anymore, I'm not sure what to make of it.

That made me remember the voice and make a recording about those events.

As far as dreams go, I dreamed I was driving up a mountain going faster and faster, hitting crests and jumping the car, here and there.  Also going back down. Though I'm not sure I was in the car for the decent.

More Dreams

I had a dream that I was in a car with my mother and father, driving down a road that seemed like it was a figure 8, crisscrossing each other.  Along the side and in the middle of these lanes were redwood trees.  I remember that we almost hit one of them while driving down the road.

Another dream, or a later point in the current one.  I was in an almost empty apartment, with my mother and a couch and an end table.  My mom was saying that my dog seemed comfortable here.  And that when my mom had to go somewhere that my dog had stayed in this apartment with some friends of hers.

This dream then turned pretty cartoonish, where there was a fly who had the ability to open a lock, or eat though it.  The locks were attached to floating carrots, and the fly was eating though the lock and giving the carrot to my dog, who would then eat it.  The fly then ate more locks, letting the carrots fall to the floor.  It then started to count, 1, 2, 3, to the number 10.  The locks were then ground down into these monsters, or more flys and said "Get ready to run" and started to chase my dog.

Thats about all I remember.

Dreams?

01.07

I was with my brother in a car, it seemed to be the old toyota, which was my grandmothers car.  We stopped to put gas in it because it was empty.  My brother attempted to search for a credit card reader on the pump, and the owner of the station yelled at us for not reading the sign.  He told us to use that pump, and he pointed at it.  I used it, and ended up overfilling the car, and the gas went all over the ground.

01.08

I had a dream where I met my new manager, she was kind of plain, in a stern way.  She had me go to another store to pick up a few things.  When I was in my car a person wearing a meat jacket popped up in my backseat and told me that we also had to get something else.  A box of cereal I believe it was.  We get there, meet a few people, and one of the managers there offered me a job because one of the people that was working there didn't like working full time.

The dream then changes to me being in my car again and Chantal is sitting in my car with me.  It is pouring rain outside, and I can see Chantal's groceries outside in the rain. We sat in my car, waiting for the rain to stop and talked a while.  I remember that she got out of the car, and she had been buying birdseed for some reason.

01.09

Had a dream where I drove to linen's and things to get new sheets.  Which I have in reality.  Also something about an accident?

01.10

This one was a bit weird.  Near the end of the dream it was very cartoonish, but it didn't start that way.  It started out with me looking at two dead bodies.  Both of them with a knife plunged though their chest hanging from a wall.  Carved into one of them was the words.   "The dead give."  The dream continued with me trying to find who had killed them.  Near the end it was very cartoonish where I was jumping on flying saucers.  I remember that the ending was where i was moving though something resembling a human body, digging down deeper into it.  But it was like watching someone else do it.  I think near the end I was trying to kill the person who had killed the two at the beginning of the dream.

Thoughts

As an off note, I met my  new manager today, and he had me go down to another store to get some frozen salmon that a customer had wanted... So I guess the dream from 01.08 was a bit correct? But I had a male manage instead of a female one, and no one popped up in my backseat.

Different Pull...

I decided to do a different sort of Pull tonight.  3 cards, the first being a general for the week, the second being "The Gate" Or an event that is going to have to happen during the week, and the final being "The outcome" or the result of that event.

My first card was: The Page of Swords; Reversed.

That card in that configuration means "Impostor, likely to be exposed. Frivolity and cunning. Possibility of ill health.  Be prepared for the unexpected."

My next card was: The High Priestess; Reversed

This card means "Conceit, sensual enjoyment. Accepting surface knowledge."

Which leads me to my final card: The Five of Swords; Upright

Which means "Failure, defeat. Degradation.  Conquest of others. Unfairness, slander, cruelty, cowardliness."  At least according to the book.  My first thoughts upon seeing this card was that of others turning their back upon someone, leaving them to do the hard work that could be done easier with their help.

I'm not completely sold on the meaning of the 3rd card, as it is somewhat dependent upon the one before it.  Which I am not sure is the correct way to read it either...